So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Randomize
