i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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