College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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