my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
