Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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