New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
