So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize