why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
