Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
