i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
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