Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
