I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
