How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize