she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
