quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
