Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
