just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
