Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Randomize
