I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
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