I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
We need to rekindle our bromance
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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