belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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