My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
