So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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