yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
