Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
my liver is dry heaving
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
