And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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