Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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