i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
