i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
