I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
