I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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