you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Dignity is for republicans.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
