Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
