Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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