i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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