just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
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