yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
