I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
