Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Randomize
