In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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