He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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