Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
He felt like a one man threesome
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
