I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
