there was a trapeze. enough said
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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