big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
