its not stalking. its research.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
