Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Semen is not good for contacts.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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