Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
