Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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