Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
