fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
