apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
