I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
You need Xanax blowdarts
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
