She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
