why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
