I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Semen is not good for contacts.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
